
Medway’s not just a place – it’s where you’ll dodge mobility scooters and argue over chippy rankings. On Rochester High Street, Saturday nights mean weaving through karaoke spill over and late-night kebab queues. Love it, hate it, or both, here’s your ultimate bucket list.
1-10: The Chaos Checklist
- Dodge a Mobility Scooter on Rochester High Street – Bonus points if it’s after midnight and heading for a kebab shop.
- Get Lost in the Pentagon Centre – Bonus points if you actually find the shop you were looking for on the first try.
- Queue for a Sweeps Festival Beer Tent – An endurance test disguised as a local tradition. Be prepared to queue so long you’ll consider making friends with the people next to you—or forming a support group.
- Brave the Pentagon Centre – It survived the 80s, but can you survive its labyrinth of chaos?
- Take a Pothole Tour – Featuring the Strood ‘Grand Canyon,’ infamous for swallowing entire tyres, and Chatham’s ‘Black Hole of Lost Tyres,’ where urban legends claim a bus once disappeared.
- Get a Late-Night Kebab in Gillingham – Complete with indecipherable graffiti and someone shouting about their lost shoe.
- See Someone in a Grey Tracksuit at Greggs – Medway fashion at its peak.
- Shout “Alright?” Down an Alley – If no one shouts back, are you even in Medway?
- Take a Bus Ride Through Chatham – Who needs a thriller movie when you’ve got this adventure?
- Find a Floating Greggs Bag on the Medway River – It’s Medway’s unofficial mascot.
11-20: The Medway Spirit
- Take a Pint on the Esplanade – Bonus points if you spot a crab staring back at you.
- Wade Through the Strood Ducks – They’re organising. Be vigilant.
- Climb Rochester Castle Drunk – Nothing says Medway like scaling ancient ruins while holding onto a pint for dear life. Just don’t let go of the pint—it’s the only thing standing between you and a medieval-style lawsuit.
- Attend a Sweeps Parade and Get Lost – No map, no plan, just vibes.
- Spot the Blue Bell Hill Ghost – If she doesn’t appear, were you even trying?
- Debate Maidstone vs. Medway – The answer is obvious, but the argument is half the fun.
- Find the Graffiti that Tells You the Truth – Chatham walls are basically modern philosophers.
- Order the Most Overloaded Fry-Up You Can Find – A full English or death.
- Complain About Rochester Bridge Traffic – Bonus points if you do it while stuck on the bridge.
- Argue About Which Chippy Is the Best – Everyone’s wrong except you.
21-30: Forgotten Glory
- Try to Find the Medway Tunnels – They’re real. Or not. Who cares?
- Visit Upnor Castle – Explore this historic riverside fort and imagine defending Medway from invaders with a pint in hand.
- Reminisce About the Strand Lido – Once the go-to summer spot with its outdoor pools and questionable diving boards, now remembered as the place where fun went to die in the 80s.
- Take a Shortcut Through an Alleyway – It’s like playing Russian roulette with your route.
- Find an Antique in Rochester and Claim You Knew Its Value – You didn’t, but now you’ll proudly tell everyone about the “rare Victorian teaspoon” that turned out to be a souvenir from Margate.
- Sing Karaoke in a Random Pub – Extra points if it’s something from The Singing Loins.
- Attend a Gillingham Football Match – The highs, the lows, the existential dread.
- Discover Medway’s Weirdest Street Names – There’s bound to be a pun or a bad joke somewhere.
- Run Into Someone You Know in a Charity Shop – It’s a rite of passage.
- Spot a Soggy Pigeon in Strood – It’s a mood.
31-40: Outrageous Medway Moments
- Watch Morris Dancers Battle It Out at Sweeps – It’s more intense than any UFC fight.
- Climb to the Top of Fort Amherst – Take in the sweeping views of Medway and feel like a local conqueror for a moment.
- Explore Street Art in Chatham – Tag your own spot. Rebellion lives here.
- Have a Pint Next to a Stranger Who Tells You Their Life Story – You didn’t ask, but now you know.
- Buy Something Weird at a Boot Fair – The stranger, the better.
- Navigate the Christmas Crowds in Rochester – The Dickensian spirit will test you.
- Sit on a Bench by the River and Watch the Ducks Plotting – What are they up to? Only time will tell. Rumour has it they’re organizing a takeover of Strood Retail Park—and honestly, who could stop them?
- Find the Weirdest Menu Item in Medway – Bonus points if it involves questionable seafood.
- Shout “Chatham!” at Someone and See Their Reaction – It’s never neutral.
- Try to Get Through Strood Retail Park Without Swearing – Impossible.
41-50: Embrace the Mayhem
- Visit Fort Amherst and Pretend You’re in a War Film – Bonus points for dramatic sound effects.
- Walk the High Streets and Count Vape Shops – Prizes awarded for spotting the most creatively named flavours (looking at you, ‘Strawberry Banana Unicorn’).
- Attend a Medway Zine Fair – DIY culture is alive and well.
- Brave the Aldi Middle Aisle – It’s a safari of chaos and surprises.
- Tour Rochester Cathedral’s Crypt – Dive into Medway’s spookiest history with a visit to the crypt and keep an eye out for any ghostly locals still paying rent.
- Spot a Celebrity Who’s Definitely Not a Celebrity – Every Medway local knows one.
- Take a Photo with a Sweaty Morris Dancer – The ultimate Medway souvenir.
- Find a Secret Drinking Spot by the River – Just don’t tell anyone else.
- Create Your Own Medway Survival Guide – It’s every local for themselves.
- Celebrate Medway’s Grit and Charm – Raise a pint to the quirks, the chaos, and the unshakable spirit that make Medway unlike anywhere else.
Final Thoughts
Medway isn’t just a place—it’s a survival test with chips and burger sauce at the finish line. Got something to add to the list? Share it in the comments so we can add it to the chaos!