Medway’s not just a place – it’s where you’ll dodge mobility scooters and argue over chippy rankings. On Rochester High Street, Saturday nights mean weaving through karaoke spill over and late-night kebab queues. Love it, hate it, or both, here’s your ultimate bucket list.

1-10: The Chaos Checklist

1. Dodge a Mobility Scooter on Rochester High Street – Bonus points if it’s after midnight and heading for a kebab shop.
2. Get Lost in the Pentagon Centre – Bonus points if you actually find the shop you were looking for on the first try.
3. Queue for a Sweeps Festival Beer Tent – An endurance test disguised as a local tradition. Be prepared to queue so long you’ll consider making friends with the people next to you—or forming a support group.
4. Brave the Pentagon Centre – It survived the 80s, but can you survive its labyrinth of chaos?
5. Take a Pothole Tour – Featuring the Strood ‘Grand Canyon,’ infamous for swallowing entire tyres, and Chatham’s ‘Black Hole of Lost Tyres,’ where urban legends claim a bus once disappeared.
6. Get a Late-Night Kebab in Gillingham – Complete with indecipherable graffiti and someone shouting about their lost shoe.
7. See Someone in a Grey Tracksuit at Greggs – Medway fashion at its peak.
8. Shout “Alright?” Down an Alley – If no one shouts back, are you even in Medway?
9. Take a Bus Ride Through Chatham – Who needs a thriller movie when you’ve got this adventure?
10. Find a Floating Greggs Bag on the Medway River – It’s Medway’s unofficial mascot.

11-20: The Medway Spirit

11. Take a Pint on the Esplanade – Bonus points if you spot a crab staring back at you.
12. Wade Through the Strood Ducks – They’re organising. Be vigilant.
13. Climb Rochester Castle Drunk – Nothing says Medway like scaling ancient ruins while holding onto a pint for dear life. Just don’t let go of the pint—it’s the only thing standing between you and a medieval-style lawsuit.
14. Attend a Sweeps Parade and Get Lost – No map, no plan, just vibes.
15. Spot the Blue Bell Hill Ghost – If she doesn’t appear, were you even trying?
16. Debate Maidstone vs. Medway – The answer is obvious, but the argument is half the fun.
17. Find the Graffiti that Tells You the Truth – Chatham walls are basically modern philosophers.
18. Order the Most Overloaded Fry-Up You Can Find – A full English or death.
19. Complain About Rochester Bridge Traffic – Bonus points if you do it while stuck on the bridge.
20. Argue About Which Chippy Is the Best – Everyone’s wrong except you.

21-30: Forgotten Glory

21. Try to Find the Medway Tunnels – They’re real. Or not. Who cares?
22. Visit Upnor Castle – Explore this historic riverside fort and imagine defending Medway from invaders with a pint in hand.
23. Reminisce About the Strand Lido – Once the go-to summer spot with its outdoor pools and questionable diving boards, now remembered as the place where fun went to die in the 80s.
24. Take a Shortcut Through an Alleyway – It’s like playing Russian roulette with your route.
25. Find an Antique in Rochester and Claim You Knew Its Value – You didn’t, but now you’ll proudly tell everyone about the “rare Victorian teaspoon” that turned out to be a souvenir from Margate.
26. Sing Karaoke in a Random Pub – Extra points if it’s something from The Singing Loins.
27. Attend a Gillingham Football Match – The highs, the lows, the existential dread.
28. Discover Medway’s Weirdest Street Names – There’s bound to be a pun or a bad joke somewhere.
29. Run Into Someone You Know in a Charity Shop – It’s a rite of passage.
30. Spot a Soggy Pigeon in Strood – It’s a mood.

31-40: Outrageous Medway Moments

31. Watch Morris Dancers Battle It Out at Sweeps – It’s more intense than any UFC fight.
32. Climb to the Top of Fort Amherst – Take in the sweeping views of Medway and feel like a local conqueror for a moment.
33. Explore Street Art in Chatham – Tag your own spot. Rebellion lives here.
34. Have a Pint Next to a Stranger Who Tells You Their Life Story – You didn’t ask, but now you know.
35. Buy Something Weird at a Boot Fair – The stranger, the better.
36. Navigate the Christmas Crowds in Rochester – The Dickensian spirit will test you.
37. Sit on a Bench by the River and Watch the Ducks Plotting – What are they up to? Only time will tell. Rumour has it they’re organizing a takeover of Strood Retail Park—and honestly, who could stop them?
38. Find the Weirdest Menu Item in Medway – Bonus points if it involves questionable seafood.
39. Shout “Chatham!” at Someone and See Their Reaction – It’s never neutral.
40. Try to Get Through Strood Retail Park Without Swearing – Impossible.

41-50: Embrace the Mayhem

41. Visit Fort Amherst and Pretend You’re in a War Film – Bonus points for dramatic sound effects.
42. Walk the High Streets and Count Vape Shops – Prizes awarded for spotting the most creatively named flavours (looking at you, ‘Strawberry Banana Unicorn’).
43. Attend a Medway Zine Fair – DIY culture is alive and well.
44. Brave the Aldi Middle Aisle – It’s a safari of chaos and surprises.
45. Tour Rochester Cathedral’s Crypt – Dive into Medway’s spookiest history with a visit to the crypt and keep an eye out for any ghostly locals still paying rent.
46. Spot a Celebrity Who’s Definitely Not a Celebrity – Every Medway local knows one.
47. Take a Photo with a Sweaty Morris Dancer – The ultimate Medway souvenir.
48. Find a Secret Drinking Spot by the River – Just don’t tell anyone else.
49. Create Your Own Medway Survival Guide – It’s every local for themselves.
50. Celebrate Medway’s Grit and Charm – Raise a pint to the quirks, the chaos, and the unshakable spirit that make Medway unlike anywhere else.

Final Thoughts

Medway isn’t just a place—it’s a survival test with chips and burger sauce at the finish line. Got something to add to the list? Share it in the comments so we can add it to the chaos!

London might have its shiny skyline and overpriced oat lattes, but let’s be real: it’s exhausting. Medway, on the other hand, has everything you need with half the stress and double the personality. Here’s why the underdog of Kent is quietly putting London to shame—no Tube delays required.

Affordability: Medway Doesn’t Mug You Blind

You know what you can buy in London for £5? A limp croissant or a third of a pint. In Medway, £5 gets you a proper cup of tea, a bacon sandwich, and maybe even change for a scratch card. Rent? You could probably afford a house here for what you’d pay for a broom closet in Zone 1.

Real People, Real Conversations

In London, no one makes eye contact. In Medway, people will chat to you at the bus stop, the pub, or even in the queue for Greggs. Sure, some conversations might involve conspiracy theories or unsolicited life advice, but at least they’re not silently glaring at you through their sunglasses like in Soho.

The Chaos Is Authentic

Medway’s chaos is charming. A night out in Rochester High Street is like stepping into an indie film where the cast forgot their lines, but it’s all part of the fun. You’ll see everything from impromptu karaoke to someone riding a mobility scooter through the kebab shop. Try finding that level of entertainment in Shoreditch.

History That Isn’t Hidden Behind Glass

London has museums. Medway has living, breathing history. Rochester Castle looms over the town like it owns the place (it kind of does), and you can climb it, touch it, or even have a pint in its shadow. Dickens lived here, for crying out loud. Meanwhile, in London, you’ll pay £20 to stare at a rock in the British Museum.

No Tube, No Problems

London’s Tube system is a daily exercise in misery. Packed carriages, signal failures, and the occasional sweaty armpit in your face. Medway doesn’t have a Tube, but it does have buses that turn up eventually and trains that don’t require you to re-mortgage your house for a ticket. Walking around here is actually pleasant, too.

The River Medway > The Thames

The Thames is iconic, sure, but would you want to swim in it? No thanks. The River Medway, on the other hand, is full of kayakers, paddleboarders, and maybe a few crabs. It’s not just a waterway; it’s a playground. And let’s face it—there’s something poetic about sipping a pint by the river without getting trampled by tourists.

Community Over Clout

London is all about who you know and where you’ve been. Medway? It’s about showing up. The festivals here are packed with locals who actually care, not influencers looking for the perfect selfie. Sweeps Festival, Dickensian Christmas, and Castle Concerts have actual soul, not just hashtags.

Creative Rebellion Is Everywhere

Medway’s art scene isn’t curated by some elite gallery; it’s plastered on walls, played in pubs, and written in DIY zines. The street art in Chatham, the local bands in Gillingham, and the handmade crafts at farmers’ markets all scream, “We do this because we love it, not because it’s trendy.”

Medway Nights Are Wilder (And Cheaper)

Want a wild night in London? Prepare to queue for hours, pay £15 for a cocktail, and end the evening crying over your empty wallet. In Medway, you can hit five pubs in one night, dance in a random dive bar, and still afford cheesy chips on the way home. Plus, there’s a solid chance you’ll end up in a hilarious story.

It’s Just… Real

London’s polished façade is great for Instagram, but Medway is raw, unfiltered, and unapologetically itself. It doesn’t try to impress you with glitz—it lets its quirks, grit, and charm do the talking. From quirky antique shops to the guy who swears his goat is haunted, Medway is full of stories that actually matter.

So Why Choose Medway Over London?

Because Medway doesn’t care about being cool, and that’s what makes it so much cooler. It’s not perfect, but it’s real, it’s messy, and it’s full of character. Medway isn’t trying to be London—it’s better.